Apologies and forgiveness: 3 parts of an apology

The high holidays are a time of reflection for Jews all around the world.  During the time leading up to Yom Kippur, it's not unusual to hear a Jewish person asking for forgiveness from someone they have wronged during the past 12 months.  This is especially true between Rosh HaSahana, the Jewish New Year, when the book of Judgment is said to be opened, and Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, when our fate is sealed by G-d.

What makes for a true apology, and when should we forgive someone?  According to my favorite rabbi, who now runs the Atlanta Scholars Kollel, the three most important aspects of a heartfelt apology are:

1.  Regret - Sincerely feeling that "I am sorry I did this."

2.  Letting go of the inappropriate behavior.  This means stopping the hurtful action and
undertaking not to do it again (at least having the desire not to do it again); and

3.  Verbalizing all of the above - unlike the commercials, love is having to say "I am sorry."